Have Kitty, Will Travel!

Monrovia, California - - Have ever struggled with getting kitty into their carrier to take on holiday or God forbid, to the vet? Have you ever wondered, "If they can put a man on the moon, why isn't there are easier way to transport my cat?" Well, your prayers have been answered with the revolutionary, patent-pending cardboard kitty carrier that boasts these amazing benefits:

• Easy to get kitty in as kitties love cardboard boxes!


• Allows kitty to see what is going on, but safe for you!


• Stackable! Packs kitties more efficiently in limited spaces!


• Recyleable!

What is especially wonderful, is that you can make this carrier yourself with just a recyleable cardboard box, a compass, exacto knife, packing tape and a cat.

STEP 1 - find a recyleable cardboard box that is appropriately size for your kitty.

STEP 2 - using your compass, draw a circle on one side of your box.

STEP 3 - Use an exacto knife to cut out a hole making sure it is big enough for your cat's head to come out but, not big enough other things like paws can come out.

STEP 4 - Find cat.

STEP 5 - Use packing tape to pack cat in box. Presto!

###

WILLIAM GETS WORMS

Monrovia, California - - This story is true and particularly disgusting. So if you get grossed out easily, do not read on. I can guarantee you won't like it.


William, a grey, striped, blue tabby was found with worms today. This was evidenced by a worm coming out of his bum that resembled a piece of rice, except it moved in a particularly revolting manner. Why? Why? must it look like rice I ask you?


Thankfully this will be remedied soon by picking up some medication at William's vet which thankfully can be purchased without having William present. The vet's office declined my offer to bring in a worm sample.


###

Man Marries Cat - Yes, it's True

Possendorf, Germany - - Yes, it's really true. Uwe Mitzscherlich has tied the knot with his cat Cecilia. Over the past 10 years, Cecilia has been living in sin with Uwe. Even though she slept in his bed every night, coughed up hair balls and shed all over the place, making her way to the altar just seemed to delude her, giving weight to your mother's favorite axiom "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" However, recently Cecilia has fallen ill and Uwe has finally decided to do the right thing and make Cecilia an honest cat by marrying her.

Unfortunately, since marrying cats is illegal in Germany and as far as we know, illegal in most countries, actress Christin-Maria Lohri officiated the ceremony for a mere 300 Euros ($360 US). "It was really beautiful and heart-warming. There wasn't a dry eye in the house." She also added, "The reception dinner was particularly elegant. I didn't know you could prepare tuna in so many ways."

"It doesn't matter that our marriage is not recognized by the Republic of Germany," Mitzscherlich has been reported to say, "I love Cecilia and that's all that matters."

The groom looked elegant in his classic black coat and tails. The bride looked also wore black and white and was radiant in a lovely Chantilly lace veil and her own tail.

###

Turn Your Couch Potato Physique to Beach Body Sleek

Is your belly dragging on the ground? Is the girth of your middle preventing you from insinuating your hairy body into places it shouldn't be going in the first place? Are you looking more like a furry cheese wheel these days than a toned predator, feared and respected by the underlings that surround you? Well, with summer right around the corner, here are some tips that will get you beach body ready in no time!

• Cardio is king. We recommend chasing the unseen object, climbing curtains or in our example above, running on a treadmill.


• Get a workout partner. It doesn't matter if they are long-haired, short haired or no-haired. They will help you keep committed to your exercise regime.


• Ramp it up. There is nothing like ramping up your exercise to get the blood flowing and to drop those pounds.


• Don't give up. It takes time to build up your endurance!